Understanding Death & Coping With Grief

Anyone who claims to understand death has either a forked tongue in your ear or a crucifix at your throat.

The less we understand a thing, the louder and emptier the psalms become; and the louder we cry, the more deafening the silence.

Nay, no solace may be found within scripture, or within the contrived meaninglessness it advocates. Nor will it be found within the calcified hubris of academia, which, ironically became the very thing it sought to destroy. For, when it comes time to explain why those whom the world needs the most are seemingly extricated from us with surgical precision and swift prejudice, we’re left with what we started with: nothing. Both clergy and laboratory become uncomfortably similar in that they merely proffer masterfully articulated answers to questions that were never asked.

No, the meaning of death is just like the meaning of life; understood only from within.

In this regard, the failings of both scripture and formula alike are truly spectacular…do not seek meaning within either.

Seek meaning within yourself and incorporate that meaning into the very fiber of your being.

Do not let those whom the world lost be truly lost to the world. So long as we carry them with us throughout our daily lives, we ensure that the world comes to know who exactly it was that made it a better place to begin with.

People only die if we truly let them.

Thanks, Mike

Mike Hugh (AKA Wasaabi)

Mike Hugh (AKA: wasaabi), my best friend

I have someone I need to thank, and that person is Mike Hugh, also known as wasaabi. He’s my best friend, and also my workmate, which means Hugh’s passing had no less effect on him than it did me. Mike came down and stayed with me for a week upon hearing the news. His presence here helped me through one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to face in my entire life, and I cannot thank him enough.

He stepped up to the plate, where I could not, and took care of a lot of things I was too incapacitated to do myself. This guy has covered my ass so much the past few months that I have no idea how I could ever repay him. During my back surgery and my recovery, it was him who stepped up and covered for me at work.

Few things exist on this earth that I am as grateful to have in my life as Mike. Nearly everything I have in my life – including my career – is a direct result of his influence, for, I seriously doubt I would have ever become a software engineer if it weren’t for that chance encounter in meeting him back in 1994.

I do not take you for granted, I recognize and appreciate everything you have done for me, and I wanted to say thanks.

I Miss Him Already

Hugh Ferguson

Hugh Ferguson

With a pain and sorrow I’ve not felt in my entire life, I must bid farewell to one of the most beautiful human beings I’ve ever had to privilege to know, let alone call friend.

Another legend is lost to the world today, as Hugh Ferguson died early this morning from a fatal, sudden heart attack, 5 days before his 54th birthday. I am stunned to be writing these words, as I’m still reeling from the shock of losing one my best friends, literally overnight without warning.

I adored the man. He was always able to brighten a room just be being in it, and I have been blessed to have known, and to have worked with him. He was a mentor, a teacher, an I.T. boss, friend, father figure and confidant. His talent and skill as a musician were unparalleled, except, perhaps, by his sincerity, decency and good nature.

For nearly every day, for 3 solid years I’ve worked alongside him, and not once did I tire of his company, his wise cracks or his personality. He was always there when I needed him without question, while always turning away reciprocals.

I owe my current career opportunity to him, my new-found love of music, and each tune that I’ve uploaded on this site were all made possible from his encouragement. He was the guitarist that helped turned my two tunes into real music; Something From Nothing and A Better Time.

He was the yang to my yin. I was gloomy, pessimistic and grumpy. He was bright, shiny and always in a good mood, thus, he was a terrific complement to me. He was one of those people who always brightened your day if you saw him, and he had a knack for helping me through some pretty unbearable times.

It kills me to write this, so I think I’m going to do something else for a little while. He hasn’t even been gone a full day, and the pain in my heart just swells with each passing moment.

I will never forget him, and I will always be grateful to have been lucky enough to have had him in my life, so bittersweet and short it was.

I can’t finish this, goodbye Hugh, my friend.

Me and Hugh

Me and Hugh