Quotes By Me (as far as I know)

“We never want what we have and never have what we want”

“Was it the absurd complexity of the cosmos that led Carl Sagan to smoke weed, or was it the weed that allowed him to understand the cosmos’ absurd complexity?”

“The degree of skill required to get oneself out of a self-inflicted problem will always be one point shy of what it took to create it”

“The number of red lights and speed bumps you will hit on the way home is directly proportional to how badly you have to pee”

“Nothing is the only thing we may claim to know with absolute certainty”
(I’m pretty sure I can’t claim originality on this one, let me know if you find it and who did it and I’ll remove it)

“What makes writing the perfect way to interact with the world is that it allows you to do so without infringing upon another’s rights”

“The trustworthiness of any news story is inversely proportional to the political charge it carries”

“The great thing about drawing portraits of human beings is that, even if you fail, you still end up drawing at least someone out there”

“Failure is the essential pedestal upon which we place our success”
(I’m sure that one’s gotta be floatin’ around out there somewhere, too)

“The only reason marijuana is dangerous is because it is illegal, therefore, shall it ever remain so due to bureaucratic, circular reasoning”

“If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results, how exactly then should one refer to the War on Drugs?”
(I’m sure this one’s out there somewhere else in some form or fashion)

“I wonder when it will no longer be rare to have sense that at one time was common as air”

“A tomato is a fruit that tried to become a vegetable at the last moment, and failed miserably at both”

“Any dog that shakes when it is not cold is not a dog”

“If we never recognize the insanity of a genius, then how can we recognize the genius in a madman?”

“It is better to look the fool by trying, than to look the fool by not, for the risk is present in both”

“The harder a thing is to do, the higher the likelihood that it should be done”

“We can’t please everyone, and in trying, we please no-one”

“There’s no news in truth and no truth in news”

“I’m smart enough to know that I’m too dumb to own a gun”